Bad News

Another sleepless night at the “old folks home” necessitated a higher caffeine intake. So, coffee was procured at the fast food joint in Kahala this morning during the two-hour stopover at the mall. Then, the usual Hawai’i Kai visit commenced.

Moms had some unexpected bad news to reveal. Moms’ remaining good eye is now failing. The other eye had severely impaired vision for a while now. At some point, moms will become legally blind. An eye “specialist” will be consulted to determine what can be done to deter the inevitable as long as possible.

At 96 years of age, moms has achieved longevity. Physical decline for people like moms is fairly slow. Decrepitude spans over decades. However, eventually organs and other body parts fail. While moms is expected to live many more years, those years will be filled with severe discomfort. Moms may have to matriculate into an assisted care facility in due time. Of course, anything could happen before then.

Of course, that kind of news brings the reality of mortality to the forefront. Melancholia quickly set in. Then, the issue of the long-term strategic plan (or lack of one) returned “with a vengeance.” Can there really be a long-term strategic plan?

The thought of purchasing a leasehold unit in the “rustic” Waikiki condominium is no longer attractive. Why waste so much money on a mausoleum that will surely become a nightmare in a year or so? Remaining in the torturous “old folks home” is an even more nauseating option. For a true pariah, the cargo van camper conversion is the only way to go. There are so many homeless and motorhomeless as it is now. What difference would another homeless guy make?

Downhill Trajectory

There’s nothing like being rudely awakened at 3am by a group of drunk dickheads standing outside Zippys across from the “old folks home.” The drunken conversation consisted of incoherent yelling, very much similar to cacophony created by the clinically insane homeless. The yelling continued until sunrise, which must have been when they sobered up.

The security guard neglected to unlock the community room at the “old folks home” this morning. So, coffee was procured at the fast food joint in Kahala. Coffee refills are free, so the ability to limit caffeine intake was usurped.

Bus rides to and from town have become unnerving as of late. Too many opioid-addicted fools as well as a steadily increasing homeless presence make the journey nearly unbearable. The same could be said of the gym in town as well. Yeah, everything is turning into shit!

Emaciation worries prompted an appointment for another body fat test. The result was a surprising 18% fat composition. That one percent more than the last testing. Quite odd. Both the electronic device and standard calipers were used. So, the emaciation quandary is a matter of old age.

Upon return to the “old folks home” from Kahala Mall this afternoon, the air-conditioned community room was still locked. Many of the senior citizens congregate there for relief from the hot and stuffy cells. Calls to the resident manager were allegedly fruitless. Obviously, there were quite a few perturbed senior citizens.

Fortunately, dinner at Subway® in Ala Moana Center was the “saving grace.” A overstuffed six-inch “sub” and four free cookies more than made up for the day. Otherwise, everything is still turning into shit.

Addendum: A quick evening bus ride to town was made from Ala Moana Center to procure canned air at Walmart®. Lots of homeless and other derelicts were milling about. The bus ride back to the “old folks home” was nauseating. Lots of homeless and clinically insane derelicts were on board. As stated previously, everything is turning to shit.

Insanity

A new feature of the Lower Makiki ‘hood is the continuous late night incoherent screaming and yelling originating amongst the growing clinically insane homeless population in the area. Clinical insanity is not just a random occurrence. Most of the clinically insane, homeless or not, are a product of chronic substance and alcohol abuse.

Substance and alcohol abuse, like opioid addiction, is a symptom of a greater social crisis amongst the rank-and-file peons of empire. Sedating the mind eventually causes adverse problems, including severe personality disorders which often lead to forced emancipation from wage slavery, consequent eviction from rental housing, and eventual homelessness. Senior citizens also face similar and more debilitating circumstances. Sometimes old age maladies cause severe behavioral disorders which eventually bring about homelessness as well.

The Great Prophet, Ernest Becker, in his prescient work, “The Denial of Death,” identified that the root cause of all psychological disorders is the curse of consciousness, namely mortality. The “vital lie” is the key to maintaining mental health. However, conditions for the rank-and-file peons and senior citizens of empire have deteriorated to such a degree that the “vital lie” can no longer serve its purpose.

With the focus of entire human lives now centered entirely on money, there are no other avenues for relief except temporary diversions. Hence, people are locked into addictions of all types simply to escape the one pathetic reality that engulfs and suffocates them. There are no adventures remaining in life. Everything is now a function of the nauseating wage slavery, debt slavery, and consumption cycle. Every paid venue follows the same homogeneous and formulaic path. Even the vaunted “vacation” has been reduced to mere shopping experiences. Who would not go insane?

Fuck It Friday - 8

Fuck It Friday (FIF)! Sporadic news and commentary of no interest to anyone ... FIF! The “old folks home” is the primary focus of this edition. Yes, this is Fuck It Friday!

The upcoming rent increase at the “old folks home” should not have come as a surprise. On-line documents indicate that the monthly rent has gone up a total of $235 in less than three years. Looking toward the future, there surely will be rent increases every year. Of interest is that the resident manager had specifically stated, “The rent hasn’t gone up in a long time,” when queried a few months ago. Time to move on ... fuck it!

The recent heatwave has also exposed yet another drawback of the “old folks home,” that is, the poor design of the entire edifice. There is no cross-ventilation for any of the cells, although the East-facing units receive the cool trade winds. The West-facing cells are exposed to the scorching heat of the full afternoon sun. In addition, there are no cooling winds from that direction. So, the West-facing cells can experience an internal temperature of 100^o F or more. Time to move on ... fuck it!

As stated in a previous Note, there’s nothing to do at the “old folks home.” There is the air-conditioned community room, of course. Shopping is within walking distance, that is, if walking is even possible. Aside from that, the parking lot is all that’s left. Numerous decrepit senior citizens have been observed sitting outside in the parking lot. Time to move out ... fuck it!

As stated in a previous Note, the homeless situation in Hawai’i is totally out of control. There are no solutions offered except to continue the Draconian “sweeps” of homeless squatting areas. An even bigger problem is the growing number of transient homeless which has turned the entire area between downtown to Kahala into a ghetto. There is enough information in the Notes archive to merit a discontinuation of any further updates about the homeless situation. Fuck it!

Given the current bout of emaciation as described in a previous Note, an all-out effort is now underway to gain at least five pounds (less fat). Quality caloric intake is the focus. No reduction in the current gym workout regimen is anticipated. What about prediabetes? Fuck it!

Homeless Update - July 24th

As often stated, the homeless situation in Hawai’i is totally out of control. Myriad new faces of homelessness have been spotted and observed in a variety of “litmus test” locations. The gym in town is perhaps the leading homeless incubator, at least for the new arrivals from the mainland empire.

Homeless squatters are now popping up everywhere between downtown and Hawai’i Kai. The transient homeless are also multiplying, mot of whom can be observed setting up night camps after 6pm along the major streets. Details and sightings can be listed, but the effort is pointless.

There is also an alarming increase in homeless senior citizens. Obviously, many of them live on fixed incomes. Given the choice of paying rent or purchasing food and medication, many opt for the latter. The situation is likely to worsen when the rent for “affordable” housing increases again.

A young homeless hottie has been spotted at Ala Moana Center recently, most likely the result of some kind of domestic problem. That’s usually the reason for homelessness amongst young hotties. There has also been an increase in their numbers, too. Puzzling, though, is that the young homeless hottie prefers to wear tight, skimpy outfits. Not exactly a wise decision.

Many of the same faces are still on the streets after many years. For example, the 70-ish homeless guy is still out in Hawai’i Kai. He still owns the beat-up Nissan® Sentra homeless motorhome. Then, there’s the infamous Reggie. He’s still around and has been observed in numerous locations.

Further investigation will be necessary to determine the fallback rate of formerly-homeless people who have been placed into “affordable” housing using Housing First funding. Rent for the first month and security deposit are provided for. After that, the formerly-homeless tenant is on his/her own. There is reason to believe that many of them can barely make it through the typical one-year lease.

As stated previously in Notes, the homeless situation is a “revolving door.” The institution serving the homeless population are only concerned about quantitative data (i.e., number of homeless placed into housing). There is no focus on retention.

Options

The rent increase has been verified to be $30 more per month or $865 per month rent and $40 per month for a parking stall. The minimum qualifying income would be $1,730 per month. In any case, disqualification is imminent because the minimum monthly qualifying monthly income has never been met or certified. The housing specialists from the Sand Island homeless shelter has “finagled” the financial data and “pulled strings” to accomplish the housing goal. No consideration was given to the time period beyond one year.

The options that will present themselves is as follow:

• Miraculous recertification and renewal of the lease at the “old folks home” for another year at $865 per month and $40 per month for a parking stall. The cell at the “old folks home” would be retained until the next annual recertification. Then, the same angst would be experienced again.
• No recertification and eviction at the end of December. Prior to that event, an application to return to the Sand Island homeless shelter would be submitted. Concurrently, an order for a cargo van camper conversion would be made to insure delivery within two months.
• Mummify recertification process and return to homelessness. An order for the cargo van camper conversion would have to be made by October for timely arrival before the end of December. Or, the purchase of a leasehold unit in the “rustic” Waikiki condominium could be initiated.

The financial impact of each option can easily extrapolated. Remaining at the “old folks home” would cost $360 more per year. The purchase of the cargo van camper conversion would cost about $60,000 not including shipping from the mainland empire. No rental costs aside from optional reserved covered parking would be incurred. The leasehold unit in the “rustic” Waikiki condominium complex would cost about $50,000 and monthly costs would be $1,000 per month with an increase of $50 per month every year.

Emaciation

The prediabetes diet has produced serious ramifications in the form of weight and muscle mass loss. In all likelihood, body fat is probably down to 15% or less. Muscle mass is also decreasing with veins showing quite visibly below the surface of the skin. The skin itself is also sagging at certain points. Weight is currently the same as it was in early adolescence. Shocking!

There is probably no way to regain the weight without concentrating the bulk of the latter around the abdominal region in the form of fat. Gym workouts, particularly the cardiovascular segment, could be reduced or temporarily put on hold. Neither is acceptable at this time.

Fuck It Friday - 7

Fuck It Friday (FIF)! Sporadic news and commentary of no interest to anyone ... FIF! Trash is the primary focus of this edition. Yes, this is Fuck It Friday!

Trash pickup commenced at 3:45am this morning. Actually, there’s no telling what the schedule is, aside from being every single nauseating day. The trash dumpsters are all painted green, so Honolulu Disposal Service is the vendor. Well, there was just one pickup with lots of noise to wake up everyone in da ‘hood, then the truck disappeared until 6:30am. More noise. What the fuck? Or, fuck it!

The only two remaining, albeit moderately important, documents have been moved back to Google® Drive. Although there are major security issues with the latter, the Drive cloud service is much easier to use (including any associated “apps). Fuck it!

Lots of new homeless on the island. Lower Makiki is now looking more like the seedier parts of Chinatown and A’ala Park. The filth, the smell of urine, the homeless squatters, the mentally unstable derelicts ... fuck it!

Excerpt — Commodification

An excerpt from an article (op-ed) by Edward Curtin titled, “The Sexual Passion of Winston Smith”:

The United States is a pornographic society. By pornographic I do not just mean the omnipresent selling of exploitative sex through all media to titillate a voyeuristic public living in the unreality of screen “life” and screen sex through television, movies, and online obsessions. I mean a commodified consciousness, where everyone and everything is part of a prostitution ring in the deepest sense of pornography’s meaning – for sale, bought. And consumed by getting, spending, and selling. Flicked into the net of Big Brother, whose job is to make sure everything fundamentally human and physical is debased and mediated, people become consumers of the unreal and direct experience is discouraged. The natural world becomes an object to be conquered and used. Animals are produced in chemical factories to be slaughtered by the billions only to appear bloodless under plastic wrap in supermarket coolers. The human body disappears into hypnotic spectral images. One’s sex becomes one’s gender as the words are transmogrified and as one looks in the mirror of the looking-glass self and wonders how to identify the one looking back. Streaming life from Netflix or Facebook becomes life the movie. The brilliant perverseness of the mediated reality of a screen society – what Guy Debord calls The Society of the Spectacle – is that as it distances people from fundamental reality, it promotes that reality through its screen fantasies. “Get away from it all and restore yourself at our spa in the rugged mountains where you can hike in pristine woods after yoga and a breakfast of locally sourced eggs and artisanally crafted bread.” Such garbage would be funny if it weren’t so effective. Debord writes,

The spectacle is not a collection of images, but a social relation among people, mediated by images….Where the real world changes into simple images, the simple images become real beings and effective motivations of hypnotic behavior.

Thus sex with robots and marrying yourself are not aberrations but logical extensions of a society where solipsism meets machine in the America dream.

As this happens, words and language become corrupted by the same forces that Orwell called Big Brother, whose job is total propaganda and social control. Just as physical reality now mimics screen reality and thus becomes chimerical, language, through which human beings uncover and articulate the truth of being, becomes more and more abstract. People don’t die; they “pass on” or “pass away.” Dying, like real sex, is too physical. Wars of aggression don’t exist; they are “overseas contingency operations.” Killing people with drones isn’t killing; it’s “neutralizing them.” There are a “ton” of examples, but I am sure “you guys” don’t need me to list any more.

 The article appeared on the Edward Curtin - Behind the Curtain site.

Motorhomeless Done Right

With the possibility of eviction from the “old folks home” looming (because of inability to meet minimum monthly income requirements), the search for alternatives has commenced. The possibility of purchasing a “rustic” leasehold condominium in Waikiki is one option, although the latter has been discussed in Notes previously.

The other option is motorhomelessness, but not with the current Nissan® Quest minivan. The disadvantages of a minivan are numerous and have already been elaborated upon. The only real choice for motorhomelessness is a camper van. The old standard camper van has given way to cargo van conversions. And firms such as Off Grid Adventure Vans fill the void.

Cargo Van Camper Conversion

Off Grid Adventure Vans is mentioned here because it offers the most budget-friendly conversion coming in at $60,000 or less. Of course, the search has only just begun. So, other vendors may have better offerings. The main drawback is that the firms are all located in the mainland empire.

Nonetheless, with every situation in empire degenerating at an exponential rate, there may be no other alternative to motorhomelessness. It is the only way to go “off the grid” when “all hell breaks loose.”

Addendum: Even if eviction from the “old folks home” is circumvented for another year, subsequent rent increases will certainly guarantee eviction in the following year or so. In other words, eviction is inevitable.

Fuck It Friday - 6

Fuck It Friday (FIF)! Sporadic news and commentary of no interest to anyone ... FIF! The same ol’ shit is the primary focus of this edition. Yes, the triumphant return of Fuck It Friday!

Important documents have once again been shifted around, from make-shift storage on the Yahoo! Mail server and Google® Drive to Apple® iCloud. There are only two important documents remaining, the curricula vita and tax spreadsheet. That’s it. Everything else has been destroyed. The process has essentially been a waste of time. Fuck it!

A rent increase is apparently in the works for the hapless senior citizens residing at the “old folks home.” Any rent increase for that dump would be an insult to anyone’s intelligence. Once the official notice is received, alternative housing must be found. Or, homelessness will be “back on the table.” Fuck it!

The rent increase at the “old folks home” could result in a slew of new homeless senior citizens. A monthly rent increase of $50 would require a $1,770 qualifying monthly income. A $100 monthly rent increase would require $1,870 minimum monthly income. With that kind of income, why rent a dumpy cell in the “old folks home”? Fuck it!

The self-wringing mop was donated to charity. Any attempt to bring the “old folks home” domicile up to mausoleum standards with modern utensils has been mummified. The cell is just a dungy sarcophagus. Anyway, the amount of soot that settles on the floor would require daily mopping. The poor mophead would disintegrate in a week. So, the use of recycled paper towels to wipe the floor by hand will continue instead. Fuck it!

Otherwise, Friday the 13th ... Fuck it!

Fat Slob Denial

The new Liberty Dialysis Clinic located in Koko Marina Center has apparently received certification by the State after a long wait. More and more dialysis patients are using the facility in Hawai’i Kai. A casual observation of some of the patients was made last Monday in the afternoon. Dialysis patients are normally in the clinic for about eight hours, so they exit the clinic late in the afternoon.

As to be expected the demographics of dialysis patients is fairly homogeneous: senior citizens most likely over 55 years of age, significantly overweight (i.e., obese), and obviously diabetic. Several patients were amputees as well. Diabetes is fairly prevalent amongst the senior citizen population.

Granted, the human body wears down with age, which makes it susceptible to chronic and terminal diseases. However, a poor diet, sedentary life-style, and obesity tends to accelerate the onslaught of diabetes. In other words, diabetes is fully preventable if body weight is kept in check with healthier diets and regular exercise. Everyone who is living in denial needs to stop by the local dialysis clinic for a “reality check.”

Dysthymia

The current situation, including the pathetic residency at the “old folks home,” has finally taken its toll. Dysthymia has wielded its ugly head. Once the TRUTH is discovered (refer to previous Note), there is no refuge in any kind of “vital lie.” As the Great Prophet, Ernest Becker, had warned, the “vital lie” is all that can keep any person from going insane. However, the “vital lie” requires an overzealous belief and complete devotion, both of which are devoid of reality.

Distractions, such as more mundane forms of “heroism” (e.g., wage slavery, dedication to family, etc.), can also serve to maintain sanity. However, when none of those options are viable, a complete “existential vacuum” (as defined by Victor Frankl) exists.

Of course, the state of “society” or life in empire has also contributed to the problem. The all-pervasive “ownership society” has reduced the individual to that of wage slave/consumer/debt slave. Even convoluted forms of “freedom” must be purchased. Thus, addictions to opioids, cheap booze, antidepressants, anxiolytics, cigarettes, illicit drugs, food, shopping, the tube, video games, and the ubiquitous “smartphone” have become feeble substitutes for “happiness.” Violence has also become prevalent as the individual subconsciously discovers that there is no escape. There really is no “freedom.”

Every animal desires to be free from bondage, even it means being exposed to the harsh reality of primitive survival. Humans (chimpo sapiens) also desire to be free. When held captive in a repressive regime as the failed “civilization” paradigm, the “inner animal” desires to break free of that repression.

Addendum: Because Of the severity of dysthymia, there is no telling what the future holds for Exodus Notes or the current Molech-themed Twitter® feed.

Another Clinic Day

Makahiki Clinic

Coffee time was herald at the newly renovated fast food joint in Kahala. Anytime there are events scheduled for the day, the preparation of instant coffee is preempted. The place wasn’t too crowded. Everyone spoke English. No Chinese or Korean senior citizens yelling in their respective native language.

The bus ride to town (to drop off gym bag at the gym), then to the Waikiki Health Center Makahiki Clinic, and back to town went well, better than expected. All in all, a decent transit day. Driving the minivan to Kahala Mall and back to the “old folks home” was another story (best left untold). A stop was made at the Down to Earth store to replenish the psyllium supply as well.

There were actually two young hotties in the waiting room on the second floor, a change from the usual homeless, derelicts, and fat slobs. Unfortunately, the waiting room on the third floor was filled with the usual stereotypical patients.

The results of the blood test was revealed during the consultation with the physician. Prediabetes status still the same. Cholesterol level remains high, but not at a stage requiring medical attention. Everything else functioning fine. So, pretty much the same as the previous clinic visit in February.

Addendum: In reviewing the lab results, a couple of discoveries were made. Low RDW may indicate presence of microcytic anemia. Prediabetes screening now uses hemoglobin A1C percentage instead of fasting blood sugar level. Percentage of sample is at lowest end of prediabetes range.

Decrepitude Notes

A digression ... Exodus Notes has been a fantastic waste of time. At this point in time, all subjects other than chronicling the personal anecdotal decline into senior citizen decrepitude are mummified. Aside from the latter, the only important previous Note titled, “Guidelines,” is worthy of any future delineation.

On the topic of decrepitude, the current weight regimen at the gym has caused pain and inflammation of the joints of the index fingers of both hands. Initially, the cause was deemed to be a weakening hand grip. Thus, $10 was invested in weight lifting wrist straps from the little retail area of the gym as adjunctive solution. Incidentally, no other local retail store carries wrist straps.

Upon further investigation, the problem may actually be caused by sloppy hand placement on the bars or hand grips on the various weight machines. Some of the bulbous hand grips could also be problematic. So far, the wrist straps have not been deployed. However, any continuation of the joint pain and inflammation will invoke rapid deployment. The only other alternative is to lower the weights used or cut back on the weight workouts, neither of which is acceptable.