Entropy 2019

Chaos. Entropy. What else could describe the current state-of-affairs? And, that is really the “final nail in the coffin” for advanced planning. There are just too many complex variables, and one event could simply trigger collapse.

A few weeks have elapsed since the situation with moms took a turn for the worst. The whole purpose of the less-than-triumphant return to Hawai’i was out of respect for aging parents. The idea was insane, according to more utilitarian and stoic ”advisors.” Better to pay respects immediately and move on, they said. In retrospect, the “advisors” may have been correct.

There has been much confusion and internal conflict as a result of prolonging an unnecessary obligation. In fact, the whole concept of exodus was nearly lost. Now, the exodus is here in its nearly completed form, that is, by external forces out of the locus of control. The confusion invoked a sense of helplessness and despair, both of which are clear evidence of personal defect and weakness.

In the aftermath, the realization that the exodus was accomplished, whether by uncontrollable circumstances or not, has finally gelled. With it comes the release of the burden of familial obligation, the last obstacle to personal freedom. There are other obstacles ahead, but none as emotionally binding. So, what’s next?

Update: Much painful deliberation preceded the final decision to terminate the Enterprise® CarShare membership. Without CarShare, subsequent visits with moms in Hawai’i Kai are unlikely. Because of the holiday season, the earliest visit would have been scheduled for January of next year. However, the bro would most likely be laid off from work (for another six-month duration) by then. Any visit with the bro’s presence would not be welcomed.