Unexciting Stories - 2

Unexciting stories … sporadic news and commentary of no interest to anyone. Mundanity is always the primary focus. Let the unexcitement begin …

Another SVT event occurred on Wednesday during the first ten minutes of the cardio workout at the gym. Same ol’ shit. Peak heart rate was recorded at 170 on the elliptical machine grip heart sensors. The duration was 4.5 hours.

The worst part of the ordeal was the bus ride back to Waikiki. All of the buses were at least 30 minutes late. Then, a roadblock in Waikiki caused a major traffic jam. After an hour had elapsed since boarding the bus in town, the need to alight at Kapi’olani Boulevard was necessitated by a full bladder. Recall that SVT events require “draining the lizard” frequently. A short walk to the Kapi’olani gym provided relief. Another bus was boarded a block from the gym. The ride took nearly 30 minutes.

As usual, an EKG was taken with the Watch Series 9 during the ordeal. No notched T-waves were observed. The SVT event ended during the late afternoon outing to the International Marketplace. Another EKG was taken, with sinus rhythm restored. No unusual patterns associated with a heart attack were noted.

The central bank of empire lowered the short-term interest rate again in the quest to ultimately achieve ZIRP. The personal stress associated with the latter probably triggered the SVT event. However, with the possibility of a “keel over” event clearly on the horizon, there was no fretting over cutting expenditures at the moment.

On Tuesday, pieces of a storage cart with drawers were espied near the trash dumpster at the “old folks home” in Waikiki while heading out to the International Marketplace for the late afternoon outing. During the outing, the geriatric mind came up with a solution for a stand for the Cuisinart® microwave oven. On the way back to the mausoleum, one of the drawers of the aforementioned decrepit storage cart was salvaged. It was cleaned thoroughly. Then, it was turned upside down and four adhesive pads were attached to protect the shitty linoleum floor. The surplus pads were originally purchased for the beloved chair. Of course, the microwave oven is only about ten inches above the floor, but who cares?

The generic melatonin tablets have not been deployed yet as a countermeasure to poor quality of sleep. There are some reservations, but no other alternative exists. Other OTC sleep products are usually antihistamines. Although the latter does induce drowsiness, it can also increase any presenting anxiety.

In the previous Notes post, the “testing” of the Vienna Sausage was hypothesized to minimize skipped (or delayed) heartbeats. Unfortunately, “testing” the Vienna Sausage regularly or daily is a ludicrous idea. The geriatric body cannot handle that kind of a workload. Senior citizens avoid such activities (including actual copulation) because a “keel over” event is likely to occur.

Miscellany: The latest geriatric malady, hemorrhoids, is slowly reducing in swelling. The generic hemorrhoidal cream has been applied daily. Hopefully, it will be completely cured before the upcoming tragic “keel over” event.