The point of insanity (or, less likely, the transition to genius) could be relatively close. There has been a flood of retrospective memories, mostly of the extreme foolishness perpetrated by self. Perhaps the on-going sleep deprivation is the cause. Yet, there has also been a flood of thoughts, much of which has been transcribed in the legacy journal, the old “blog,” and Notes. The latter and former intrusive thoughts have overloaded the neural network.
The combination of all the intrusive thoughts brought on a massive emotional and cerebral event, one that cannot be described in words other than “losing’ it.” The whole folly of humanity, the legacy of chimpo sapiens, the divergence (and denial) of the core “animal” was laid bare. Of course, those thoughts all validated the works of the Great Prophet, Ernest Becker. The links to download PDF files of his works are provided in the Notes post appropriately titled, “Death.”
Long story short, all of the bullshit generated by the long line of human ancestry is simply caused by the “denial of death.” There’s just no other answer. Even the heinous “evil” perpetrated by the human ape is simply a matter of illogical compensation caused by the dreadful realization of an unavoidable terminal future.
As stated in the old “blog” and Notes, there is no “meaning of life” other than a brief existence. The core purpose of human existence is to survive and reproduce, just like all of the other life forms. There is nothing special about the human ape, except what it envisions in its own mind. The imagination is basis of “meaning,” but it is essentially hollow. The imagination can create an expansive “reality,” one that is really only a hologram.
The real “reality” for the human ape is a brief lifespan, a portion of which is spent in a stupor as a developing child and adolescent. Then, there is a moderate period of adulthood in which the rank-and-file apes toil away for survival and possible reproduction. In the last phase of life, the aging apes fall into decrepitude and finally death. All along, there is much pain and suffering. This is an animal existence, no matter how many luxuries and “shiny objects” are accumulated.
The assessment of the personal life is that it was shit. Many mistakes were made. Various attempts were made to become “mainstream” and fit within “society” … all bullshit, all striving for nothing. Now in the “twilight years,” the truth becomes even more self-evident. In other words, there’s no fool like an old fool.
All that to say … this whole illusion created by human apes over millennia is just that … an illusion. Actually, it’s more like a hallucination extremely skewed from reality. All human ape endeavors are “immortality projects.” The “garden variety” Fascists have the most psychotic “immortality projects.” Very few people can truly accept death. And that incongruence is further exacerbated by the accumulation of “wealth” and material possessions, both of which beg the owners to seek immortality.
Seeking immortality through science or religion is a lost cause. The result is a kind of neurosis or psychosis that metastasizes into violent and genocidal behavior, what can be described as “evil.” Knowing that there is no way to be eternally “saved,” the human ape lashes out in any inexplicable way possible on anyone or anything in proximity.
In summary, humanity has lost its way. The connection to the animal world has been lost and, thus, the true understanding of life and death has been forgotten. Instead, there is only a fantasy experience that is feebly propped up by imaginary truths. This is the root cause of all the bullshit.
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